no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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