My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
