are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I think I just sharted jello shots
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
