I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
