We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
