Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
