guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
