thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
