We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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