The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
