my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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