I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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