i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
