Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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