how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
