But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
