I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
