I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
