What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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