I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
