You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize