Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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