I am puke
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
