Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
