Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
