when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
