You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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