That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
