I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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