Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
