no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
