It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
