Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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