Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A+ Viking dick
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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