garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize