Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
