All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
