but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
