yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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