We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
