Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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