everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
