Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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