Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
