why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
