There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You made out with two different species that night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
