yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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