Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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