Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
