dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
