in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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