I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize