Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
