He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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