I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
