i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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