what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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