Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My pussy is not your playground.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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