You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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