Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
