she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
