Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I love you.
Bad choice
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
